Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
jump out the window naked night went bad
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
