I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
