Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
