3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
