do herpes really smell.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
