i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
