Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
