I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
