i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
