he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
