seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
