we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
