I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
