fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
