Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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