just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
