im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
