She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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