Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
