Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
