I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
