found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
