i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
