She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
