Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Four minutes until I can fart!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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