i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
