How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
