2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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