Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
