Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
