I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
