Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
