Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
