And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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