u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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