I wish i was in the wii world.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
