I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
