I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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