Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
