Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
