Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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