Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
