wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
