Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
