I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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