A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
