I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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