Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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