okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
