I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
