There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
