Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
